How to Move Through the Hurt

Things have not gone according to The Plan. You know the one with every minute booked so when something comes up, like say, tooth and jaw pain that makes it feel like someone is chiseling an ice sculpture in your mouth, you feel super frustrated and icky and everything is just hard and slow.

It is just so frustrating and irritating when unexpected events just march in right in the middle of our day, and rattle us around crossing out the plans we had (despite the fantastic penmanship on the To-Do List) and loading the list with other things we never wanted to do in the first place.

But here’s the thing: Life is unexpected. Right? We delude ourselves into thinking we are in charge, that there are things we can control and then someone we love dies. Just like that. Or we get hurt or sick or we lose the client, or divorce the partner. There is never a good time for this crap and then it happens and we have to deal with it anyhow.

Not what we had planned. Not what we wanted. But we can do it.

HopeThis week was a tough one for many people I know and love. So much we can’t control, so many things we didn’t want. But we can always choose our response.

Right between the hurt and sadness and frustration and pain, we can also choose to love and be grateful and get curious. We can choose to learn and explore to connect deeply with others. To be true in our strength and vulnerability. And when we do, we remind ourselves that we can cope with any uncertainty. And there is a measure of comfort and peace in that. A knowing that even in our deepest grief and greatest pain, we’ll get through even if we don’t feel like it just now.

And there is the knowledge too, that the same uncertainty that hands us grief and illness and loss, also hands us love again, and new opportunity, and friends who keep us upright when we can’t do it ourselves. Those things are unexpected too, and they are also here for us.

Hang in there, gang. I know it’s hard going sometimes but that’s okay. We can do it.

Look for the Good


Every day we experience things we love, and things, well, that we don’t love so much. Life serves up plenty of what we don’t like, but you can choose what to focus on. Instead of worrying about the trouble, you can focus on the good that lingers in the very same moment. Give your attention to what you do like, what is working, the people and things you love and you deal better with the challenges that come your way. And, you’ll have a lot more fun.

Breaking for Spring and Slowing Down

3d sunset house

Original art by Erin Brown Cairney White

“Life is so fast, that we have to deliberately slow it down,” said a friend of mine last week. Yes. That statement just landed. I resonated with its truth.

There is so much we can do, so much to access and take in, that sometimes I think I have to do it all. Nope. This trying to do too much in too little time leaves me unhinged. It feels noisy and chaotic.

Lately, in my efforts to stay grounded, I’ve had to say “no” to some things I care about, some things I really want to do. I’ve done the must dos — my obligations for work and family — and let the others go. Soon, I will feel grounded again and there will be activities I pick back up.

But for now, I’m deliberately slowing down. And as part of that, I’m taking the week off to spend time with my daughter over Spring Break. One thing at a time. This is my time with her. But, I’ll be back with new posts on March 28th. In the meantime, scroll through the others on this page for a dose of inspiration and information.

Happy Spring!