How to Move Through the Hurt

Things have not gone according to The Plan. You know the one with every minute booked so when something comes up, like say, tooth and jaw pain that makes it feel like someone is chiseling an ice sculpture in your mouth, you feel super frustrated and icky and everything is just hard and slow.

It is just so frustrating and irritating when unexpected events just march in right in the middle of our day, and rattle us around crossing out the plans we had (despite the fantastic penmanship on the To-Do List) and loading the list with other things we never wanted to do in the first place.

But here’s the thing: Life is unexpected. Right? We delude ourselves into thinking we are in charge, that there are things we can control and then someone we love dies. Just like that. Or we get hurt or sick or we lose the client, or divorce the partner. There is never a good time for this crap and then it happens and we have to deal with it anyhow.

Not what we had planned. Not what we wanted. But we can do it.

HopeThis week was a tough one for many people I know and love. So much we can’t control, so many things we didn’t want. But we can always choose our response.

Right between the hurt and sadness and frustration and pain, we can also choose to love and be grateful and get curious. We can choose to learn and explore to connect deeply with others. To be true in our strength and vulnerability. And when we do, we remind ourselves that we can cope with any uncertainty. And there is a measure of comfort and peace in that. A knowing that even in our deepest grief and greatest pain, we’ll get through even if we don’t feel like it just now.

And there is the knowledge too, that the same uncertainty that hands us grief and illness and loss, also hands us love again, and new opportunity, and friends who keep us upright when we can’t do it ourselves. Those things are unexpected too, and they are also here for us.

Hang in there, gang. I know it’s hard going sometimes but that’s okay. We can do it.