When Sweet P was a toddler and I was feeling a little crazy, we’d head out for a walk around the neighborhood.
It took forever.
She wanted to put her shoes on by herself. Then push the stroller, uphill and around, by herself.
“Me do it.”
“I do it by myself,” she would say whenever I tried to help her.
Drove me crazy. I was RIGHT there. I wanted to help. I had years of experience in putting shoes on and walking and I could do those things for her.
But, it was also the beginning of a series of lessons I needed to learn about growing up. Growing up for me, not for her.
Because the best way to teach a child about her own power and ability is to let her find it on her own.
Of course, I’m there, sometimes nagging, or sighing loudly, but mostly I hope I’m encouraging and loving and accepting and supporting and standing right next to her as she lives her own experience.
I don’t want to step in and take over — well sometimes I do, just like when I wanted to push that stroller, and sometimes I must, she’s 9 — but mostly my lessons have been about allowing her to be who she is. And I’ve discovered that the more I trust myself the better I am at trusting her.
Trusting in Yourself
Trusting in yourself and your ability to handle whatever comes, like it or not, is scary. You will at times be filled with self-doubt and fear. You will also feel liberated because when you trust yourself you know you can overcome those fears, insecurities, and failures, so you are willing to live bigger and love more.
My friend, writer/speaker Mike Robbins writes about this authentically and beautifully in his book Nothing Changes Until You Do.
“Trusting ourselves doesn’t mean that we won’t get scared, have doubts, or make mistakes—all of which are inevitable in life. Trust is a choice we make in the moment. It is choosing to empower our belief in ourselves, over our fears of what might go wrong. It’s not about avoiding or denying our fears it’s about having faith in something that is bigger and more powerful than fear: us.”
When you learn to trust yourself you are more likely to participate and engage, love and laugh and innovate and create and share and connect when you know that despite the risk, despite the potential for rejection or pain, You Will Be O.K. You can trust yourself. So, this trusting opens your life to marry again and to love deeply and to try for the new job and reach out for support and let your kid do the same – even when they are floundering. This trust in your own capability to survive and thrive frees you up to live a bigger life.
Or as Mike writes “…listening to your inner wisdom, trusting your own instincts, and relying on yourself in a healthy way to make decisions in your life is one of the best things you can do to liberate yourself from unnecessary fear and stress and to empower yourself in every aspect of your life.”
I love that.