I was paying the bills when I felt that little thin strip of muscle along the edge of my neck threading down behind the shoulder start to tighten and twist.
And just like that I was caught up again. Caught up in the stress around money and the house and the stuff and the work. Caught up in the worry and the making do and the planning. Caught up thinking that all of this was the most important stuff. When of course it’s not.
It matters sure. I’m a big fan of a place to live and money to pay the bills and buy the food and books. I love that I can go buy a book once-in-awhile.
But that stuff isn’t the route to happiness, peace, or even a satisfying life. It isn’t. And gawd would life be simpler if it was. Then we could go after that one thing and say order up a box of books and be done and happy and bliss-filled for eternity when we get it.
The Real Currency of Life
Instead of being able to earn and buy our way to abundance, to be truly rich we must connect and love and keep loving even though it can feel so complicated. We must stand up and care even when we are afraid. We are compelled to do what sometimes seems like the hardest freakin’ thing because we know it the right thing, and to give to others when we worry ourselves about having enough. To be compassionate and kind even when the other person is a total jerk. This is all complicated stuff. Serious. These are the big things listed under the Required Skills section of the Human Being Job Description.
Yet in the end, it’s in this so-called little stuff (though it’s never really little) that we find meaning, and peace and joy. It is where we make a difference in the world. It is in this stuff that we find ourselves. It’s the richness in our lives and that is the stuff that matters. This is what living with abundance means.
So, bill paying isn’t about the money, it’s about the freedom and security it offers. It’s about the gratitude that comes when I recognize I get to do a job that I love that just happens to pay the water bill. It’s about the abundance already within.
Living with True Abundance
Sometimes it is so hard to remember all this and I’m not always good at it. But when I do, then there is peace. There is appreciation and gratitude and in the midst of all that there isn’t room for worry or feelings of lack. In the end I can always choose compassion and love and curiosity and peace and joy. In every moment. And when I do I recognize I truly have enough of what matters in life.