I don’t want to be a stayer – you know the gal at the party who is the very last to leave. Yet, there are times when it all feels so fun and good I don’t want to go. Like ever. Like want to bare-knuckle grip this moment so that it never ends.
But of course it does. No matter how tight I’m holding. The kids start crying and the wine runs out and the sink fills with dirty dishes and the moment shifts into something new.
We dread that part of change. The movement from what we love, or at least what we can handle into something, well, different. Undefinable until it arrives.
But change is also FANTASTIC and it happens ALL THE TIME! This means a miserable moment, day, year is going to END. And this second, will be different than the next. This is a huge RELIEF if you are buried in crappy moments.
Change SAVES us. It rescues us from the bad days, allow us to go on when we don’t think we can. It is the clearest reminder that this shit won’t last forever – probably won’t even last until tomorrow – so baby we CAN HANDLE one more second of this moment. We can. And as soon as we know that, HAH, IT’S OVER and we get to move into the next a little better.
The Wisdom of Change
When my baby was born she apparently missed the memo that infants were to sleep. We were up most of the night – as expected. But she was also up most of the DAY. She took 15 minute cat naps and then crowed until I’d come pick her up.
I lived life in 15 minute intervals. There were whole days during that first year that felt longer than the entire eight years I’ve shared with her since.
But during this time, change kept me afloat. Just when I knew I couldn’t handle it one more second, she changed and slept a full hour and I got through it.
Change is like that. It doesn’t take much. A little ripple, a little shift. Someone keeping quiet instead of spouting off, a right turn instead of a left, a smile instead of a frown. Those subtle changes move you a little bit differently into the next moment. And that small tweak can change everything just enough to get us through to the next moment.
It does not take big changes or big decisions or ultimatums to change a life. It takes baby steps. Persistent, consistent, I-am-not-going-to-quit baby steps. And those baby steps can change vast, living landscapes.
Think Colorado River – Grand Canyon vast. A little trickle of water creating one of the most awesome places on the planet.
Think new baby vast. A Six pound life bomb.
Think, “I’m not going to do that anymore,” vast. A simple, little phrase creating movement in a new direction.
Because of change, there is hope. Hope that if you show up and participate the moment will morph into something you can manage. Change is the thing that takes us from loneliness to love, poverty to abundance, sickness to health. It’s the sunrise after darkness, and spring blooms after winter death, and it’s the kid, who never used to sleep, hugging you goodnight before she drifts off.
It’s the lifeboat in rough seas there to push you into the gentler current. All you have to do is stay afloat and let it move you.
Tomorrow will be different than today. It’s unavoidable. As long as you remember that you’ll know that tomorrow can also be better.