On Monday I wrote about a report in Glamour Magazine that says that 97-percent of all women have a negative thought about their physical body – EVERY DAY. I’m thinking that is not at all helpful. And while there are plenty of things to blame and complain about that influence how women feel about themselves, the responsibility sits smack dab on us.
No one can sweep out your self esteem unless you allow it. And often we do, using our inner voices to chime in with the negative external messages which always come back to one thing: you are not enough.
Now that is not true, but it’s useful – for advertisers and retailers. Because when you think your hair is a disaster you’ll be more apt to buy one of those Bumpit thingies from the infomercial.
Still, you could just stop all the mental mess and garbage and cut the mental chatter that holds you back. Here are a few ways to do it:
- Notice what you’re saying about yourself and when. Gossip is never good, (and rarely true). When it’s coming from your own head — it needs to stop. Become aware of that snarky self talk. Notice when it kicks in. What’s going on, are you stressed out, angry, sad? Are you at work, or at home? What prompts it?.
- Get to the root of the bad feelings. Now, look at what’s behind the self talk. If you’re feeling bad about yourself at work could it be that you have some unconscious belief that you’re incapable on the job? If you feel fat among friends, do you secretly think yourself to not deserving of love and friendship? Sounds crazy, but it’s the beliefs we have internalized on a deep level, that keep us stuck. This is where those catty inner voices come from. Now that you know, you can change them.
- Do something that makes you feel good. Now that you’ve gained some clarity as to where the inner voices are coming from, confront them by doing something positive. Look in the mirror and find one thing you like about yourself and give thanks to it out loud. Instead of letting the voices tell you how incapable you are at work, choose to believe that you are capable of learning what you need to know and then sign up for a class that will boost your skills or a sit-down with the boss to learn what it will take to land that promotion. Feeling bad about your body, pick a new belief like: I make healthy choices. Then adapt behavior to support it – maybe like a new exercise routine or eating more vegetables.
Because many of the beliefs we operate from have burrowed into our subconscious, clearing work through visualization, meditation, EFT, and NLP or other programs and processes can also be helpful to release the limiting thoughts for more positive ones.
Positive beliefs, fuel positive actions and that will shut that snarky self-talk right up.
Photo by: Stock.xchng
This post originally appeared in March 2011