Become aware of the big bad emotions to offset Jekyll/Hyde

Today I popped off and made a mess out of something that should have been only slightly sticky.

Even while my heart was saying (screaming actually) “don’t do it!” “It’s not a big deal, be patient, be kind.”

My head popped off with a one-two punch of criticism and sarcasm. Just for the record, that never works. My heart knows it, it speaks for my spirit. But, my mind was rabid with adrenaline and righteousness and just downright ticked off.

Even while becoming conscious of more loving (and effective) ways to deal with my frustration, I chose the antagonistic, least productive method of conflict management. Then, I had to deal with myself, after. Because I felt bad, crazy even that the Jekyll and Hyde disconnect shows up. That gap between what my head is thinking and what my heart is feeling.

Know what I’m talking about? You read all the books, practice all the strategies, pray and live from a place of compassion and curiosity and gratitude until you don’t. Until the moment when someone or something pushes those buttons, you know the ones where we freak out and do and say things that seem so out of alignment with what we meant to say, with what we know – even with what we want to do.

That’s popping off. And, after your done, you’ve got to go around and clean up the wreckage. But the stuff I’ve got to make right with myself is usually the hardest to take. Because when I step out of alignment with spirit and into this place of blaming or righteousness I feel icky. It’s O.K. to be frustrated, or angry http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200406/honor-thy-anger even. But, it’s so much better to sit and understand and learn about those emotions than to behave badly from them.

Lesson #1 – Lead with the heart, it just feels better.

But for that to work we have to tune into what we’re feeling in the first place. Try it for the next couple of days. Pay attention to your emotions. Notice when you feel heightened stress or impatience or anger. What circumstances prompted that rush of emotion? Don’t act on it. Don’t judge it, just notice what happens to your brain and body when it’s swept up in a big emotion.

Take note, too, of the good feelings coming your way. What do they feel like? How do they show up in your body? What prompts you to feel good?

Before you can align your emotions and behavior with your compassionate inner nature you have to notice what they look like when they show up. From there, you can decide how to deal authentically with those emotions. That is to say, how to feel them, experience them, relate with them without burning down the house.

Step into that awareness now. Wednesday I’ll give you some tips for dealing with them when they show up.

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