The Nature of Desire: Why it’s wise to want

There are things I want. Things I wish for.

I desire more financial abundance. I desire to live with a greater sense of peace and patience. I want to find a way to contribute to the world in a bigger way. I want to drop another 15 pounds. A new stove wouldn’t be so bad either. I also wish a publisher would scoop up my book idea. Oh, and I’d like the cat to stop peeing in the corner.

Does this make me selfish? Ungrateful? Materialistic?

I don’t think so. For a long time I did keep my desires to myself. It seemed inappropriate for a girl who has so much to be asking for more. But, I’m a creator. Just like you. We are expansive beings, fueled by energy and by our very nature we must expand and express for our spirit to grow and thrive. Desire is one of the seeds of that expansion.

It’s not bad to want. An appropriate desire, dream, wish also fuels gratitude and appreciation and kindness and giving.

Here are some of the other things I have learned about desire.

1. Me striving or desiring more doesn’t at all mean I do not feel immense gratitude, joy, and appreciation for what I already have.

2. Desires are often illuminated by contrast. We get sick, so we desire health. We feel lonely, so we desire relationship. Moments of contrast always show us what we truly desire and can inspire us to move toward those better-feeling life moments.

3.  My desires do not at all derail your desires.

4. There is enough, for each of us, at any time, to have all that we want. Even, if we’re all wanting the same stuff. The Universe is unlimited.

5. Desire fuels creativity, inspiration, curiosity, gratitude, awareness.

6. Reflective desire connects us to our deepest values and needs on an emotional, physical, spiritual, and material level. We feel good when we live in alignment with our values. The Bigwigs actually have a name for it: Values-based happiness (tune in I write about it in Wednesday’s post). This means that we desire more of what we value and when we work toward and accomplish or receive those things, that makes us happy. In that, our desires foster a cyclical process of loving and thanking and inspiring and appreciating. Desiring then, becomes a passing around of positive energy.

7. Knowing the “why” behind your desire enhances the feeling behind it. Usually, it’s not the dream job we want, but the joy that comes from doing work that is meaningful. Our desires for emotional well being and spiritual enlightenment work the same way. The feeling of love and connection that results from me behaving patiently and kindly is ultimately what I’m after and drives my desire and practice for patience. And, the money I want doesn’t come from a desire for more stuff, but a sincere desire to do more for others. More money is one way to offer more help to friends, family, important causes and that is the why behind my desire for greater abundance.

What is the why behind your desire? What is your desire? Don’t be afraid to go big.

“People are always saying, ‘Be careful what you wish for…’  as a cautionary warning. Joking but not,” writes author, friend and wise woman Jennifer Haupt, on Facebook.  “I’m trying to make a shift: Be BOLD in what you wish for, and accept with love and gratitude the people who show up to make that wish come true. And then pay it forward!”

This week declare what you desire. And follow Jennifer’s lead and “Be BOLD in what you wish for.”

One of the things I desire it that scads of people sign up for my upcoming Resilience class scheduled for launch on the Daily Om. In this 14-week on-line course (super affordable and you can sit in your pajamas while you study — who’s gonna know) you’ll learn how to thrive despite the daily dramas and big-time traumas that life serves up. We’ll also discuss how reframing your troubles can infuse your life with meaning and purpose.  Check this blog and I’ll  post links, dates, and class info as soon as it goes live.