I always tried to dump the beets. As a child the annual Christmas canned food drive was a prime opportunity to rid the pantry of the limas and the beets by tossing them into the sack for another unsuspecting family.
I was about 10 when my Mom caught me adding the items I considered “bad stuff” to the bag.
“You don’t like the beets,” she said. “Why would you pass them off on someone else?”
I figured the right answer was obvious and sassy, so I went with my second choice in hopes of selling Mom on my decision.
“Because people need food and beets are food.”
“This isn’t a handout, “ Mom said looking at me. “This is a gift. And when you give a gift you give something you think people would like. If you don’t like beets do you really think the kids who get this food are going to like them?”
“I dunno.” I rolled my eyes and shrugged. But I did know. No kid was going to wanna eat the beets. Still, they would, because they’d be hungry and there would be few other options. They might even eat them without complaining, (though I really doubt it. Kids are kids and beets, well, beets are bad). The realization that someone was relying on me for a good meal and I offered my worst pinged me with a little bit of sadness. Sadness that I feel even now when I think of it.
I felt it yesterday too, when the Girl Scouts came by collecting food. This year I put albacore tuna in their bag, whole wheat spaghetti, refrieds and tomato sauce. This year I put in some of things I use the most around here. The things I like the most.
And I’m hoping that the mother who feeds her children with this food knows it was a gift. It was not a handout. I hope most of all that she doesn’t feel bad about accepting it. Because, when you receive a gift good manners dictate that you nod your head and smile and say “Thank You.” Then, you enjoy it wholeheartedly.
This year when I put the food in the bag, I was conscious and aware of what I was doing. It wasn’t something done haphazardly at the last minute. And I think I benefited most of all. I realized again, that we are all connected and we are all nourished by the same things: food and love.
You become both the giver and the receiver of those things when you’re giving them away. When you’re giving away the good stuff, the best you have to give in the moment. Whether it’s white tuna in the food drive or your most radiant smile in the checkout lane. Maybe your best today is an extra moment of patience for the woman in the gray corolla who didn’t realize the light had turned green. Or perhaps your best is folding the clothes without complaint. Or hugging your child tighter today.
It’s easy during this frantic time to give and take without thought, to rush through our work and shopping and routine without paying attention. We buy the big-ticket gifts and write the checks to charity, but paying attention the little things can also make a difference.
Canned food drives are everywhere and they seem nearly insignificant in this time of great need, unless you’re the one eating the soup that you found in the food bag. And through the little things, whether we connect in person or by proxy — we have an opportunity to give and make a difference to others and ourselves.
I hope whoever got my favorite spaghetti sauce eats well tonight. Because by doing so she is giving to me too.
Photo by: Stock.xchng
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Great post, and great first line. Of course I did the same thing…only I was getting rid of canned olives and canned green beans. This really made me think about giving things we’d like to receive, not just the things we don’t want/need, and passing that idea on to my kids, too.
Nice work, Polly.
Yum, even as a kid I loved beets. If I put canned beets in the food bag it’s because I bought them specifically as a treat for me and not for my family because no one else likes them.