A wise woman I know also happens to be a fabulous writer with a new book out that should at least stop and make us feel and think and connect more deeply with ourselves. But, if you’re ready, it can also do a few other little things like, ah well, empower you, inspire you, and change your life.
The book is Beautiful You: A daily guide to Radical Self-Acceptance. The writer and wise woman is Rosie Molinary and here in this two-part Q &A appearing today and Wednesday, she talks about self image, beauty, and the “everyday miracles” that matter most.
IS: This is a powerful book that inspires women to take a new and loving look at themselves and their physical body. It also promotes self confidence, inner strength, peace, self acceptance and those big qualities that occur inside us rather than externally on our body. How did the book come to be and why did you connect physical appearance and healthy self image to inner growth and spirit?
Rosie: After my first book, Hijas Americanas came out, I found that so many women – of all ages were hungering for advice about how to get over their negative feelings about themselves. Many thought that changing their bodies would lead to happiness. But, I really don’t believe that’s the case. I believe we’ll only be content when our mind changes, when we give ourselves permission and the tools to be content. After some meaningful conversations with friends I realized that it could be really meaningful to create a journey and process for women to do that and Beautiful You was born.
We often invest in self-loathing— in everything from our weight to our hair, from our body shape to our skin color. The energy we put into all this hating, tweaking, complaining, and trying to erase takes our energy away from engaging in our world. Luminous, shiny hair doesn’t make you a better mother. A tan does not make you a better teacher. These things don’t change the world. It’s what you have inside you—in your soul—that has the makings of an everyday miracle.
It is far healthier- for ourselves, the world and our sense of self — to believe more in what we do than in what we are. Having positive self-esteem is in part about doing things that are worthy of esteem—engaging in acts that build esteem because they satisfy our souls. Investing our time in completing esteemable acts can do much more for your self-esteem than trying the latest mascara or buying skinny jeans.
IS: Early on in the introduction and then again in Day 2 with The Body Warrior Pledge you draw the connection between the body and soul. How does our body image — how we think of our physical being relate to our soul and inner peace and strength?
Rosie: I honestly don’t believe that a negative body image is solely rooted in dissatisfaction with one’s physical appearance. I think, however, we can become consumed in our physical body when our soul and spirit aren’t otherwise invested in things that we love and that evoke our passion. Poor body image is often just the manifestation of a poor self-concept or lack of self-awareness. Beautiful You is rooted in the premise that if we had a better self-image and greater self-awareness, we would be less likely to allow how we feel about our hair or weight or whatever happens to be our hang-up to consume so much of our time and energy. Having a negative self-image or a negative body image is like always having a gate-crashing critic watching the events of your life as they unfold. What I have found over time is that self-acceptance is what most dynamically changes our negative self-concept and body image. And you can only find self-acceptance through the hard but meaningful work of assessing where you are, seeing where you have been, and planning where you are going—while enhancing your life along the way.
IS: What is self acceptance? Does self acceptance that mean we shouldn’t work to get fit, lose weight, become healthier or improve our physical self?
Rosie: For me, self-acceptance is the notion that I am not fundamentally wrong because of my history or physical body. It’s the realization that I am fundamentally right because I am neither my history nor my body. It’s the choice to recognize my humanity just as I recognize and respect the humanity of others.
That said, it doesn’t mean that we get an out for how we treat our body. Our body is our vehicle of expression. It is what allows us to experience, enjoy, and grow from life. If we don’t reasonably maintain our body, we diminish our capacity to experience, love, and grow and, that, too, is a form of paralysis. And so one aspect of the Beautiful You journey is considering how we can more thoughtfully honor our physical body so that it is capable of doing what we ask of it. That does not require a certain physical look but it does require an honorable consideration.
Check out this site Wednesday for Part II with Beautiful You author Rosie Molinary.
